Piers Morgan said he never use Viagra On TV interview

It has recently become evident that we are living Dark Times. But in the wake of Brexit; in the aftermath of terrorist attacks on our neighbours and in the midst of a Labour Party falling apart like wet toilet paper, we can rest assured of one thing. One thing that, I’m sure, has had the nation on tenterhooks the likes of which we haven’t experienced since the Euro ’96 semi-final penalty shootout.

Sleep soundly, British public – Owen Smith can get it up. The Labour leadership contender reassured us of his skill at getting erections, live, on ITV, with Piers Morgan. When questioned this week on Good Morning Britain about his former position at Viagra manufacturer Pfizer, Smith told Morgan, co-host Susanna Reid, and the nation, that he never got high (so to speak) on his own supply. That he, the member of Parliament for Pontypridd, aged 46, can get boners without pills. That, now Angela Eagle has halted her campaign, the contest is between a man with the leadership skills of a pigeon caught in a vent, and a man who doesn’t need Viagra, thank you very much.

I know who I’d vote for. The dick guy, obviously. Sure, he’s as remarkable (both facially and personality-wise) as a rainy Tuesday in February, but at Labour’s most impotent (sorry, turns out I’m not too good for this…) moment in recent history he is at least… potent.